15 Things I'm Grateful For

Mama Mawer tagged me in a post where she posted about what she was grateful for, although I have been rather busy I now find myself with enough spare time to at least attempt to return to my blog and make time for it once again, so I'll bring back my blog with this post.

Here is a list of 15 things that I am grateful for:-

1. Apple

I am grateful for Apple and Steve Jobs' genius, both as a consumer and someone who is interested in technology. Apple has not always historically been known as one of the most successful and valuable technology companies in the world, but from my interest in technology I know full well how they have influenced the world of technology and changed how every single one of us live. Apple invented the mouse and the graphical user interface, giving easy to use computing to the general market. I began with an older iMac which was a joy to use, and in 2014 I now own a retina display MacBook Pro and a 5K iMac, which I would never have even believed to be possible 10 years ago, and they make it an absolute pleasure to be typing this right now. Not just that there is also the iPhone, which introduced the first multitouch display to the world and I have been proud to have owned every generation since the iPhone 2G debuted and created the smartphone market in 2007, I am now using an iPhone 6 which is an absolute pleasure to use for a multitude of tasks. Along with that is also my iPad, which I have also owned since joining university, and thanks to how productive and well refined they are I now use an iPad Air 2 which seriously makes amazing things possible, such as watching Netflix in the back of the car or working on an assignment in a cafe.

My trusty 2009 iMac, iPad Air 2 and iPhone 6 - all make my life 100x easier!

2. Family

I am grateful to have a supporting family, and although we may not always get along and we have our fair share of arguments, I do not know what I would do without them. We have all been suffering the last few years, and I think if it wasn't for our support for each other we would not still be here. My father suffered heart failure in 2012 after years of misdiagnosis, and even now in 2014 it still seems like the NHS is failing him, such as him being the wrong medication the other day which would have killed him if he had taken it. With my support as a law student, and my mother as a social services worker, we have managed to stay strong together and tackle this head-on instead of being left to feel vulnerable and alone. We often do things together as a family, which I am grateful for, as not all of my friends seem to have such a close relationship with their relatives. Family meals, watching TV in the evening together, etc. are all things that I am grateful I am able to do, especially as two years ago we were told that we should expect for my father to no longer be with us.

Christmas 2012 - thankful that my father was able to spend it with us.

3. River & Consequences of Owning a Dog

I am grateful for my dog who, although has a lot of issues due to his background, makes my life so much better and is always there for me when I feel alone and upset. When I went to see him at the Border Collie Trust I instantly fell in love with him; he was such a timid and sad looking dog, probably due to suffering abuse as a stray from Ireland. Despite all this I saw how he took a liking to me when I took him for the initial walk around the centre, and now six months on he is now a healthy weight and wags his tail at the first sight of one of us entering the room. He is becoming a competent and lovely dog as a result of the work of the Trust's volunteer coordinator, Tina Holmes, who lives locally. 

As a result of River both me and my mother have become volunteers for the Trust and often attend agility shows and fundraising events as members of staff who assist with generating funds for the charity. This has been a lovely opportunity and has made me feel a better sense of importance about the work they do, and has also helped me to feel better about myself.

4. Intelligence

I am grateful for my intelligence, which I seem to have been passionate about since being failed and messed around by my school. I have always considered myself as an intelligent person, and when it came to those who were supposed to help you flourish with your abilities I found that this was not the case, therefore taking the initiative to do something about it. Years on I am now in my final year of an LLB - Law Degree, on good track to gaining a 2:1 overall. 

This links to my family; of whom my mother was a well respected senior manager across the entire of Derbyshire for the learning disabilities division of Derbyshire County Council, and my father, whom was a head of department throughout his career for both mathematics and information and community technology at Merrill Academy, Derby. My parents have always pushed me since a young age to try and reach my potential and become the best I can possibly be at what I do, and I really would like to think that I am achieving this.

5. My Perseverance

As with my intelligence, where I have persevered to get to the position I have today, I am also proud of my perseverance in general. I have suffered multiple mental illnesses throughout my life, but to this day I feel strong and in a much better position than I have previously. I have had thoughts of ending my life in the past, attempted suicide, self-harmed, and have been diagnosed with moderate social anxiety which has impacted every single thing I do and has made my life extremely difficult. I made the decision to begin phasing myself off medication about two months ago, and I am now in a position where I feel very positive and happy with the future and with myself at this current stage. 

I almost lost my father in 2012, had a car accident just a month after, had my mother go into hospital, lost my cat of 13 years less than a year later, all whilst being on medication for moderate to severe depression, but despite all of this I took every day as it came and got to the point where I started the slow process to a recovery. I had very little support from the NHS, who didn't seem interested apart from prescribing me a continual prescription of tablets, and also despite having support from parents, they did not have a complete understanding of how my depression and anxiety effected me.

I also persevered with my current course, I was originally not accepted onto the LPC due to a lack of UCAS points. Once I was accepted to the university on a different course I approached the School of Law & Criminology to ask for a chance to prove myself; I was given a task of completing an induction file that everyone else had two weeks to do in just 4 days! I succeeded and this secured my space of the LLB and has allowed me to continue to focus and be determined to succeed through the subsequent years in university.

A quote from one of my inspiration figures - Steve Jobs, CEO & Founder of Apple

6. Being Able to Drive & My Car

I am grateful for being able to drive and for being fortunate enough with having a car. I passed my driving test 6 months after my 17th birthday in 2011 and have been driving ever since, and it has made my life infinitely more easier from things as seeing friends, to commuting to university, and due to the fact I barely drink, as a taxi for my parents! I got my first car in 2011, a 2009 Ford Fiesta, then upgraded to a 2013 Fiesta in March 2013, and just a week ago upgraded to my first SUV, which is wonderful for feeling safe on the road due to the higher driving position, and also gives my dog a perfect car for having plenty of space to be comfortable in when going to the vet and going for a walk around the countryside. 

I know that not everyone, even if they are fortunate to afford driving lessons, can afford to even own a car with all the included additional funds need for tax, fuel, insurance, etc. so I am extremely grateful that I am able to.

On terms of my volunteering too, I'm also able to assist immensely with the fundraising due to the sheer size of the boot of my car, which allows more than 15 banana boxes of merchandise to fit when the backseats are folded up flat.

My new 2014 Ford EcoSport SUV, a wonderful 'little' car!

7. My Friends

I am grateful to have some wonderful friends, from teenagers up to people in their 40's. My friends are so supportive and make my life have meaning, there is nothing I look forward to more than seeing my friends! Although I often find myself busy with university, personal issues, and just generally attempting to relax without leaving the house, I cherish every moment I get to spend with those closest to me. My parents also know some lovely people, who I manage to get along with.

This blog post was nominated to me by one of the most loveliest bunch of people I have met - the Mawers. I met Tasha in 2011 and over the years we have become best friends, and through her I have met some lovely people - especially her family who are all such wonderful and lovely people. It is not uncommon in this world to see a lot of selfish and arrogant people, but when I met Tasha and got to know her family I instantly felt as though I had met people who make the world a better place. Knowing that I have friends like these make me so grateful and has made me feel a lot more positive about life as a whole.

Tasha, Kim, Alex, Kate, and Hannah - some of my lovely friends

8. Financial Position

I am extremely grateful to have been born into a rather well off upper-middle class family, which has an impact on a lot of the materialistic things I have listed in this blog post as having a significant benefit to my life. We are lucky enough to have access to a wide range of items due to the area in which we live and due to work my parents have done throughout their lifetime. Although we are not the richest family in the world, we do often spare as much money as possible to good causes, which I am extremely proud - from donating to help charities such as RSPCA, British Heart Foundation and Cancer Research UK, to things such a buying a coffee for my friends or being able to give the items I replace to my friends at a fraction of the cost it would cost to buy from a retailer.

9. My Body

I am grateful to be physically fit and an overall healthy individual. I enjoy being active on a daily basis and working on getting in a fair amount of exercise on a daily basis, and this somewhat shows. I've started a balanced diet since the beginning of October 2014 to try and make sure I keep a healthy balance between fat intake, carbohydrates, and protein. As a result I feel very healthy and I am proud of my body. A few years ago I was underweight and felt really fragile, however now with the combination of exercise, weight training, and also eating a healthy amount of food daily, I feel very confident as a result and no longer feel like I am vulnerable and unable to do certain things due to being too weak. 

Working out and eating right has made me proud of the body I have today.

10. My House

I am grateful to live in a comfortable environment and have a moderately large house to call home. My room is my sanctuary of the house, and having refurbished it in 2012, I feel as though I have a safe an comfortable area that is just for me. My parents have spent many years improving the property and as a result we now have a very nice garden, comfortable living room, modern bathroom, and I have my own luxury feeling room that houses my computer, my smart TV and of course my wonderfully comfortable bed! 

My wonderful room - designed by me, and completed by my father in 2013.

11. The Internet

I am grateful for the Internet, and all of the capabilities it has created; connecting to new friends, keeping in contact with the ones that live locally or have moved away, finding new recipes for cooking, researching for assignments, making purchases from the comfort of my own home, and much, much more. Since I also own an iPhone and iPad I'm also able to take advantage of this wonderful technology literally anywhere I am; from the coffee shop, walking in the countryside, or even in the car (not whilst driving of course, strictly legally!).

12. Food

I am grateful to be living in a country which has a wide choice of cuisine available: Indian, Italian, Mexican, Chinese, American, all of these are readily available by either going to the local supermarket or by visiting restaurants such as Frankie & Benny's, Wing Wah Chinese Buffet or the 50s American Diner.

I absolutely love food, although I focus on eating healthily a lot of the time, I enjoy being able to indulge with foods available such as authentic Italian pizzas and big American dishes served with a bucket load of proper American-style fried chips!

Good ol' Vanilla Float with a Chicken, Bacon and Cheese burger and curly fries - American 50s Style.

13. Nature

I am grateful for the world in which we live and specifically the nature we are surrounded by - from the trees we walk by and see swaying delicately in the breeze, to the many different species of animals that add life to the world. 

I love walking and every Friday I walk for an hour and half around Markeaton Park in Derby, this not only helps me to feel healthy physically by getting fresh air into my lungs and building on my lower body muscles, but also helps me mentally by making me feel at ease and relaxed by the green grass, the ducks, the trees and the flow of the water of the lake.

Derby is my comfort place, and it is my every intention to move to the city sometime within the not too distant future, and with Derbyshire offering a lot in terms of nature, as well as the Peak & Lake Districts being a relatively small drive away, I feel as though I live in a beautiful world where even the most natural locations can still be found in built up areas.

A mandarin drake - a rare sight of a beautiful duck spotted in Markeaton Park.

14. My Apperance

I'm grateful to be happy with my looks and with my appearance. I am happy with my body shape, my face and bone structure, and with myself as I am now. I have enhanced (in my opinion) my appearance as well with the addition of tattoos and piercing, I have had a half sleeve since last summer and I plan on having the other one done for my 21st birthday. I have had my nipples pierced for over a year now and they are my little babies, I love them! My snakebites have been a part of me since 2012 and I love them, they are like a part of me and although subtle I think they compliment my face nicely.

One of my most recent pictures, my purple fringe is as much a part of me as my snakebites!

15. Respect

Further to my previous point, regarding my friends and my university course, I am now in a position where I feel as though I am well respected. A few years ago I was surrounded by false friends and was in a school where only a handful of teachers put the effort in for me to achieve my best, where others simply had no time for me and didn't want to bother to push me to achieve my potential. 

This is completely different now, when I go and see my friends or make an appointment with a lecturer at university I feel as though I am well respected for all of my accomplishments, and I feel as though my lovely personality has made many people like me and look up to me. This is all I have ever really wanted, and as a result my confidence has increased twofold to what it once was.

Return

So I've kind of neglected my blog for quite a while now. I don't think I've posted in about 4-5 months. I'm not too sure why. I think I just got distracted and exams and summer have kept me busy. 

A lot has happened since I last blogged, I won't put this all into one post, mainly spread it about between different posts. 

I just got my new iPhone 6 today and the larger screen size and the sheer speed of it and the Internet should mean I'll enjoy blogging from it, unlike the iPhone 4s I've been using the last few weeks that is impractical due to its small screen size. 

So yes, I'll be returning to my blog shortly and hopefully have some interesting posts to make. 

Anxiety Attacks

Anxiety and depression is ruining my life, and I think if it wasn't for the support I receive and my counsellor id probably be dead. 

I had one of the worst anxiety attacks ever today. I had to do a practical assessment for my Law degree, and because of a cross reference by the judge on my case I became frozen and unable to speak. I was failed on the spot and asked to sit down. I then had a panic attack after leaving the room. I had to see a support worker just to calm me down, and I was unable to drive back home from Derby out of fear that I'd end up crashing my car or purposely injuring myself. It wasn't until an hour after that my breathing was back to normal, but I then found myself completely terrified and uncomfortable just by being in the university. I even said that I wanted to leave and never come back, feeling like it was impossible to recover from this negative experience. 

Thankfully, I have a support plan that grants me a support worker and a counsellor, and thanks to them I was able to go to someone when I was distraught and unstable. I've never failed an exam or assessment in my life, so this was a huge blow to me. However, the support worker told me that with such a difficult subject my social anxiety only makes it worse... I shouldn't blame myself for anything that happened though; I did my best and tried and that's all I could ask of myself. This helped me feel better, and hopefully I'll be fine for my EU exam, which is on Thursday. 

I am determined to succeed in the final parts of this academic year, and not try and let today, which was perhaps one of the worst episodes I've ever had, stop me from achieving my aims and get my degree. Mental health support is so important to someone who suffers as I do, and I think the budget cuts in this area are a huge mistake and could potentially put so many people at risk. It is hard enough when you suffer with anxiety and depression to be understood as it is, because the illness is invisible, but if I didn't have the support I'm offered by the healthcare authority then I have no idea what would have happened to me by now. 

Anyone who suffers like I do, just remember that anxiety and depression can have a serious impact on your life, but don't give up! You'll have your awful days and good days, but the important thing which I've learnt to recognise is that they are usually merely temporary illnesses and at some point in your life you will recover and/or learn to overcome them. I hold on to this because I know that once I am better my life will improve and I can enjoy life to the full. The present is hard right now, but the future is still bright.

Update

Haven't updated my blog in a while, truth is I've been really busy and I'm struggling. The last few weeks have been really difficult.

To start with I had a party, which was okay, but the weekend after was awful. I was verbally abused in my own house, my house was disrespected, and I was told to kill myself by someone I thought was my friend. Another 'friend' also went on to accuse me of things such as making up my illness and being a thief. Where these came from I have no idea, but they've had a lasting detriment on my mental health. In the past few weeks I've had times where I've harmed myself, been unable to sleep and have cried on multiple occasions. There have been times where I haven't wanted to carry on going, feeling like it's not worth it. 

The last two weeks, and the next week to unfollow is going to be a huge strain on me. I have exams coming up, and practical assignments, yet my anxiety and depression feels worse than it's been in a long time. I feel physically and emotionally drained at times, and I feel alone. It's really difficult to try and stay positive and get through this. The light at the end of the tunnel is that I believe in myself to get through this, but the time I have left before this happens feels like it's going to be impossible. I've always been a strong person though, and I'm determined to struggle through this time, so that I can enjoy the relaxation and detox that the summer and my study vacation will bring.

Right now I'm sitting here feeling really down, feeling like I need to write to my blog again, as it might help ease my mind somewhat writing about how I'm feeling. I'm making progress with my assignments and revision, but I'm feeling constantly anxious and I'm terrified that I'm going to mess up somewhere and fuck up my life even more. I feel alone, like I have hardly anybody to talk to right now. It feels like I mean nothing in most peoples lives. I've tried to always be there for people and bring happiness to others, but right now I just don't feel capable of that because I can't even make myself feel happy... I always look to it and think of how things can only get better, which is what keeps me going I guess. It doesn't make the present very easy though.

I want to see people, but I can barely pull myself away from my work, otherwise I feel like I'm going to mess things up, it makes me feel more and more isolated each day, like if I disappeared that nobody outside of these four walls would even notice. I'm seeing one of my closest friends tomorrow, to have a movie day and hopefully to try and cheer each other up. I need to take this break, because I know that if I don't my mental wellbeing will diminish even more.

I've taken other steps to try and be positive and make myself feel better with myself, I've stopped drinking completely for the past two weeks and I don't intend to drink again or get drunk any time soon. Perhaps in the summer months I will occasionally. I've also begun meditation and started to follow Buddhist teachings, although it will take time to abstain from things that cause suffering, the Buddha's teachings are a great way of understanding your own being more and helps with understanding and finding the causes of suffering.

Perhaps, when these exams are finished, I'll feel a lot better. I'm optimistic for this, despite how I currently feel. I'm going to make another appointment for a mental health review, because I really feel like I could do with extra support right now.

Invisible Illnesses

I had a mental health review today, and something that is extremely important to me and plays a huge part in my life is that of invisible illnesses. I suffer from depression, anxiety and panic attacks, but the thing with these are you cannot tell I suffer from them unless you specifically know me well. This is the main problem with such illnesses as depression, anxiety, M.E., post-traumatic stress disorder, etc.

Take for example the above two photos. The photo on the left was me last year, before I was suffering from depression and all the problems I experience now. The photo of me on the right is from this week, after being diagnosed with depression a few weeks ago. Simply looking at these photos, or any photos of me, will not really show you anything: you wouldn't notice a difference here, apart from my hair (of course), but the fact of the matter is that although I look happy/well in both of these pictures life was a lot easier when the one on the left was taken. 

This therefore poses the difficulty, and perhaps the ignorance, which I have noticed over time. In a perfect world I wouldn't have to deal with my anxiety and depression, but unfortunately this is not a perfect world and I am suffering, but I do not deserve to further go through a bigger ordeal such as people making it worst. Sadly, quite a few of my closest friends suffer from depression, which helps me to not feel so alone at times, and being able to help them really does boost my mood. Life is unfair, everyone who I know who suffers as I do are literally the loveliest people you would ever meet, who would never wish harm on anybody, and are always loving in personality, and yet those who seem to be horrible and judgemental seem not to go through such things.

I guess that comes to another feeling I personally get (and I'm sure others may sometimes feel this too) which is that I feel weak and hopeless because of suffering like I do. I feel as though I'm alone and isolated, and long to just be happy without a care in the world. It angers me more than anything though when people refer to things such as depression or anxiety or M.E. as not real, and having comments by some being "just get over it!" or "you're just looking for attention." I confide in my blog for this, since I would never really post about this on social networking sites as they seem to be full of narrow minded and dismissive people who seem anything but supportive. This shows the ignorance of some in society today, why would people fake such things? Invisible illnesses all seem to have one thing in common; that they affect the sufferers daily life in a significant way, so why would anybody want to fake this feeling? 

I personally feel like I'm in a really bad place right now: I can't deal with much social interaction without feeling constantly uncomfortable; I'm susceptible to unpredictable panic attacks which can happen anywhere, and as a result make me feel very anxious and scared of attempting anything; I can barely even speak to people I hardly know to even ask for little things like a pen or the time! 

The worst thing about all these things is that I can look back to say a year ago where I was so confident and could manage to do so much, which now the very thought of doing certain things fills me with feelings of dread and fear. It's knowing that, I was once able to do these things with no trouble and yet, now I can't do them. All this does is make me feel even more depressed, and it feels like a never ending downward spiral that I can't seem to get out of right now.

I've been liaising with my universities student wellbeing service and I have received loads of very helpful information. The most important thing I need to remember is that I am not alone, and anybody who suffers from an invisible illness should always remember one thing: You Are Not Alone! There are many of us who suffer, but as the name suggests, it's not always so obvious, because the symptoms are mainly noticed by the sufferer and not observed by everyone else. This doesn't mean we are weak though, if anything we are strong. It is important to look at the positives, and whilst I may be at my worst right now, I know that in time I will start to feel better and that as a result of this I will come out a stronger person. Life can be incredibly hard and at times the feeling of giving up can sound tempting, but you must always remember that it is worth fighting for and that you can beat whatever it is that you're going through!

Health, Friends & Beyoncé

I've had quite a stressful last seven days, had both very high ups and very bad downs.

Last Wednesday I made an appointment to see my GP over concerns I've been having personally. I've felt so down the last few weeks, and on most days I've had little to no motivation to do anything that used to be important to me. I've found myself feeling alone and disconnected from everything, and it's been really getting to me. I was seen by my university about two weeks ago over these concerns, and should hopefully have a support plan sorted out to relieve some of the pressure and stress I've been feeling, this is when I decided to see a doctor. Unfortunately, as I feared, my doctor diagnosed me with depression and anxiety and I have had to go back on to medication I haven't taken since last year. I feel crushed to know that I was making such great progress not too long ago and yet again I'm at this point where I feel helpless. It makes you so scared, how things can look up and you feel so happy, and then suddenly you feel like you've been hit for no apparent reason with such a negative view... 

It's not all bad though, a small handful of friends have been there for me since then, when others aren't so considerate or caring. My best friend, Tasha, in particular has been wonderful! When we speak it genuinely feels that she complete understands how I am feeling right now, and she is so caring and shows generosity in a way that is unfortunately rarely seen in most people. I'm so proud to call her my best friend, and knowing that she is there for me and genuinely cares never fails to put a smile on my face. I love her to absolute bits!

Hannah, another one of my close friends, has also been wonderful. I've felt alone recently and she has constantly made plans with me in attempts to cheer me up and stop me from feeling so negative. Today, after feeling miserable and not up to going into University she invited me to spend the afternoon with her, where we watched movies and had a good talk. It's small things like this and knowing that I actually mean something to some people that gives me the strength to carry on and sit back and realise the world that we live in isn't always as bad as it seems. 

The thing I have learnt from this is, although we may associate ourselves with many people in our lives, there will only be a handful of genuine people who truly care enough for you to realise that you're going through your worst and do their absolute best to try and make things better for you when you need it the most.

Despite my anxiety I went to see one of my idols on Monday at the LG Arena in Birmingham. Although crowds and huge social events where I do not know anybody make me feel incredibly uncomfortable and susceptible to panic, I made the journey to Birmingham alone and joined the standing crowd for Beyoncé's Mrs Carter Show World Tour. Despite all of this, I had such an amazing night and it was without a doubt one of the best nights of my life. 

Beyoncé is one of my biggest idols, I love and respect her so much. She is flawless and also seems to have more respect than most celebrities. Her international fame and following is well deserved!

Being in the same room as her just overwhelmed me with joy, and I am honestly beyond happy that I was fortunate enough to be able to see her live. The show she put on was amazing, she used visual videos before some of her performances to give a story and definitely involved the audience. She was also so lovely, telling us all how much she appreciates and loved us as fans, and touching peoples hands who were fortunate enough to be right up close to the stage. It was also someone's birthday, which when Beyoncé became aware she sang Happy Birthday whilst holding his hand, followed by kissing him on the hand before moving on to her next song! It is lovely to see that she makes the extra effort with fans when others would simply get on with a show and then just wrap it up. It genuinely felt like she loved doing what she was doing and loved involving the audience. My respect and love for her is higher than ever, and I am already missing the experience of seeing her live. I really hope that she will have another show sometime in the not too distant future, where I will definitely go and see her again and hopefully take someone with me.

Tattoos

So a while ago I said I would post about my tattoos, so here it is:-

The roses are specifically red for symbolistic reasons, they are often affiliated with love and beauty, and this is why I had these are part of my sleeve.

The compass and the pocket-watch go together, the former represents the entity of space and navigation in a physical form, whereas the latter represents time. Personally, the compass has importance to me as it is a reminder that no matter what happens we can always find our way, not just when we are physically lost, but also when we are emotionally 'lost'. The pocket-watch has a similar meaning, I am a great believer that time is a great healer for any misfortune, etc. we may go through in life, and is a reminder that time can heal all wounds, yet again whether physical or emotional.

The snake and the skull are simply there because I like them as a space filler, snakes create great effects when used in such a large tattoo, and coupling it with something such as a skull is common. Snakes commonly represent good and evil, going back to biblical stories of Adam & Eve, but I assure you there is no evil in me, maybe... (Joking, I'm not at all evil!)

The Eye of Providence has a certain meaning behind it, it is commonly associated with the illuminati nowadays, however it has a deeper meaning. The religious meaning is that god can see all that someone does. The iris is blue however, matching my own eyes. The eye sees all and knows all, this is not intended in a big headed way, but it represents that those who do wrong to me should be aware that I can see right through them, and that I usually find out about things, even if I can't physically see them.

The dreamcatcher is one of the newer parts of my tattoo, probably the most painful too! The dreamcatcher has origins from Native American culture, it is said that they allow the good dreams to pass through, and the bad dreams (nightmares) become trapped in the netting, and would disappear as the sun comes up. I have a dreamcatcher in my bedroom window, and having one on my arm it symbolises that no matter where I am, whether i'm staying at friends or camping, I will be protected from the bad dreams.

The owl is another newer tattoo, and is located above the dreamcatcher within my bicep. The owl is another symbolic tattoo that comes from Greek culture, specifically being sacred to the goddess of learning; Athena. The owl symbolises intelligence and wisdom, and this is why I had this done; I have spent most of my life learning, studying, and bettering my understanding of both academics and personal things. I have become wise due to my own personal experiences and as a result feel that I can help out others because of this, specifically those younger than me who may need guidance. I also like to think that I am rather intelligent, having studied hard most of my life and successfully being accepted to law school in 2012. Before, and since then, I have always dedicated myself to expanding my knowledge and making the most of everything available to me.

This is my newest tattoo, and was only done about two weeks ago. The initial plan was to have a bird of paradise tattooed in this gap, however there was insufficient space. The bird of paradise would have symbolised freedom, reminding me that although we all have expectations in life and regulations to comply with, we are all free and have the right to enjoy life. Instead I came up with a design of a swallow, which is said to represent love and affection towards family and friends. I strongly believe that it is my family and friends that make my life worth living, and I would do anything for either of them. I could never thank some of my friends enough for what they have done for me and for how completely amazon they are, especially my best friend Tasha who has been there for me so much, and unlike others, always has time for me. Nor could I ever completely show my appreciation for all the support my parents have shown me over the years, and for the wonderful upbringing I have had. 

So, as promised: these are all my tattoos (so far) and the meanings behind them, I hope this gives for an interesting read.