It's so hard being young at times, most young people don't know what they want and yet the world expects you to know, sort and plan everything at a young age and by the time you're old enough to realise it's sometimes too late to do the things you want to do in life.
I was never really that good at school, I didn't put effort in to all my work because I didn't realise it was at all that important, same with college. I knew I wanted to continue on and get a degree one day, but I just didn't think anything I was doing at the time was that much of a concern.
I'm so lucky to have gotten on to my law degree, because initially I was rejected from the LLB, and it was only through arguing my case and asking for a chance to prove myself two years ago that I managed to get accepted at University of Derby's Law School.
Honestly though, I always wanted to work in medicine and pursue a career as a doctor and also be a medical activist to help people who are failed by the system, as I and my family have been on multiple occasions. I've always wanted to help people, and being in the medical career I would've tried to make a difference to medical care in this country and the treatment available. It saddens me that currently I can go to a GP and talk about issues and they still don't seem to be all that sympathetic or understanding of my mental health, etc. and yet I can talk to friends and family and they are a lot more understanding but unfortunately unable to offer any medical support. It's also annoying how some GPs and medical professionals don't even seem remotely bothered and dismiss certain things that you know are a problem but they just bring it down to something stupid like "oh, it's probably just you feeling down, it's a non-issue!" or "you're overthinking, there's nothing wrong with you. You'll be fine soon enough!" just for something to happen not long after that which proves to them that there was. I have a history of depression and yet some doctors still say to me not to worry, when I'm not stupid and know if there's certain feelings there and concerns then they aren't just simply a 'non-issue'.
My dad has also been subject to this, having been going to the doctors for years complaining about heart problems simply to be told "it's reflux, take these tablets" and having to be rushed to hospital back in December 2012 for heart failure and having almost died. The doctors at the heart hospital then informed us that this had been an issue for a very long time and it should have been picked up earlier, and they see no reason why it wasn't noticed sooner apart from medical negligence and the failure to properly diagnose.
I am not saying that the NHS or doctors don't do a great job, as obviously those who treated him were brilliant, and the mental health unit who helped me with my treatment and cared for me when I was at my worst were so understanding and lovely, but it really does get to me how poor some medical professionals really are. I don't understand why it happens, I would love to have been able to be in that position; get my science A Levels, do my medicine degree for all those years, get registered. I don't understand why some have worked so hard and then seemingly given up the passionate and caring approach they should have?
Don't get me wrong, I love law and I love studying to become a lawyer, and I just hope I can make the world a better place throughout my career, but I just regret at times not working hard when I was younger to be better at sciences and actually put the effort and believe in myself when it came to doing it. On that note however I am determined to complete my degree to the best of my ability, and I shall still take an interest in medicine for many years from now, and when I have made my success and have the time and finances I will work to improve things, as I sympathise and feel so bad for those who don't get the recognition and have access to the treatment they deserve.
Since last year I have constantly focused on bettering myself and the world we live in, and I hope that when my time is done I have made my mark on the world and made a positive difference in some way. Currently I do that through my acts of kindness, I sympathise with everyone, and always want and see the best in people. Sometimes this has a negative effect on me, but this is the person I am and I won't change that, ever. I like to think that my existence here and my nature does make people happy and brightens up everyone who I come into contact with.
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